I love Life.

When the game of Life includes selling children for $20,000 a piece, mix-ups with children and the parent (someone call child services on Janette) not noticing until the end of the game, a stock monopoly, and the minorities making the least amount of money you know this is one fucked up game. Janette, clearly unaware of the strategy of Life, decides to go to college and ends up with the shittiest salary while the rest of us are cruising along in our plastic cars making $80,000 a year. Well that's what I was making until I lost my job and decided to become an artist! WHAT THE HELL! And I had to endure a $60,000 pay decrease. The game of Life is basically trying to teach us not to pursue anything you might find interesting or do as a hobby for a career because you will make no money. Mike's children were falling out of his car and Jamal decided to buy up all the stocks, so as banker I was NOT pleased. By the end of the game I wanted to take all the money and throw it up in the air in dramatic fashion, but I probably would've had to clean it up.

Even though she technically didn't win the game, I think the clear winner is Janette. She was brave enough to take out those annoying loans to go to college which took her forever. We were all buying houses and the bitch had just finished school. Janette also chose to marry another pink piece instead of a blue one, proving to us all that even in Life gay marriage is accepted, and she accidentally put one of her children in another car without noticing. Kudos to you, Janette. Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU SLUT!

Yankees Make Me Cranky

It's been approximately 1,294,120 minutes since I remembered I had a blog and what better Christmas present to you all then to finally use it? [INSERT applause here] Anyway I had originally intended to use this blog to bitch about baseball and I will still do that, but it wouldn't be complete without my other two favorite things: myself & my friends, celebrity gossip. So three things. Screw you if you counted it.

I really hate the Yankees. Really! SO much. Why can't they just go away? They basically signed Sabathia to a billion dollar contract when the economy is in the shitter. I realize the Yanks have their own wallet to dig through, but come on! First it was CC and Burnett and now Teixeira? I never ever want to hear the actual payroll for this team. Never. I will jump off of a cliff. Whatever, they can have CC. They won't make it through the play-offs with Sir-Chokes-A-Lot on the mound.

BOOOOOOOO!

I don't think Jamal realizes what a stud he is. I mean, what girl wouldn't want a piece of this?

As Harry Potter would say, HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!